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Without getting too graphic: my thighs are like two dimpled flesh dumplings that loom menacingly over my knees when I stand and flatten into enormous pools of lard when I sit. Every time I see them in the mirror it still surprises me: Whoa! Those are mine? For years I tried to conquer the raging butter twins through sheer will, but it only made me a bony, flat chested woman with calves that went straight down to my feet and oversized hams cheerfully squatting where my thin thighs should be.
Me and my thighs (right) representin' in 2009.
I know we should all love and appreciate our bodies. But honestly, anyone with thighs like mine knows that’s no picnic! (…unless, again, we’re talking about ham.) That’s why I started writing thigh-ku. Reverent poetry about the overinflated inner tubes that carry me around seemed to put things in a perspective I can live with. Here’s one: “Made in God’s image… I guess that means that Yaweh… Doesn’t wear hotpants.”
When my brother in law, Steve Sall, was diagnosed with ALS three years ago, knowing that the disease would not only rob him of his ability to walk, but also to move, speak, swallow and eventually breathe, it suddenly seemed pretty absurd that I was all wrapped up in fussing about my ugly legs.
Steve died last September and this will be the third year that my enormous thighs and I will fly to Portland to take part in the Walk to Defeat ALS. I want to reach my goal of raising $1,000 to donate to the ALS Association, because I know how much the Association helped Steve and my sister, Teri, cope with the physical degeneration that Steve experienced, and I know that others stricken by ALS need the same kind of help.
I thought I’d see if my splendid thighs can do somebody some good. In celebration of my voluminous thighs’ ability to walk for those who can’t, I’ll send a booklet of inspired thigh-ku poetry, with my thanks, to the first 15 people who sponsor me with a Walk to Defeat ALS donation of any size. Don’t be embarrassed to let those plump, ample donations show!
Here’s how: You can donate via my participant page as part of the Steve’s Wobbly Knees team at the official ALSA website’s Portland Walk to Defeat ALS page. (Just fill out the online donation form with your credit card handy and click the don’t send me mail/email options if you don’t want the ALSA to keep in touch with you.)
If I don’t know you personally and you want to receive the thigh-ku booklet, make your donation to the Steve’s Wobbly Knees team at the ALSA website, then leave me a comment here and I’ll email you to get your mailing address.
And… if you will be in Portland this September, join our team!
Bring your own legs (any size!) and walk with us!
–Marla
I just finished laying out a little book of my own poetry: “Thigh-ku”
I think I invented this form of verse, although I did find one other reference to the word when I searched the term on the web. (Damned interweb!) Even if I wasn’t the first person in the world to think of the word, I do think I’m the first to have elevated thigh-ku art to the level it so richly deserves.
Here is a slideshow of “Thigh-ku!” the booklet, which makes a beautiful gift for any occasion, and at 4.25″ x 5″ its 24 pages of inspiring goodness fit handily in a greeting card envelope. (If you want to buy one, check out my Etsy page or if you happen to want to carry my booklet in your pricey big-thigh-themed boutique, comment and I’ll get back to you about bulk (no pun intended) prices.)
If you’re inspired to share your own Thigh-ku, feel free to comment here, or visit the Montana Doggerel Society Thigh-ku blog, thigh-ku.blogspot.com.
Thigh-maste!
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